wikialityfandomcom-20200214-history
The Colbert Report/Episode/494
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro In Awe * The Good Doctor started the show with a healthy wiff of a felt-tipped pen * Dr. Colbert is in awe of himself ** he prepared another great show, with no help from others * guest stars in a four-hour movie about the building of Shea stadium ** recommends concrete-pouring scene * Dr. Colbert predicts his first question will be: "What?" Obama's Transition * Dr. Colbert predicts the next 4 years will be a disaster * Richardson withdrew from Commerce Secretary nomination ** Richardson will write a book, "A Fortnight in History" * DiFi was angry Panetta was chosen * could have asked Scooter Libby * probably pick for Surgeon General ** Gupta has claimed he was approached * Dr. Colbert has also been approached * Stephen has never done a segment on dining on animal penises ** CNN's landmark segment, "Penis in Peril" * behind the door of his Inaugural Advent Calendar: Xanax Social Contracts * "We need to update the social contract" * Dr. Colbert doesn't want to change it ** rich ** famous ** has dental * Stephen had to fake his own death to get out of his contract with Good On Ya, an Australian cologne * Tonight's word: Statute of Liberty * Lilly Ledbetter ** sued GM because she got paid less than her male colleagues, Supremes * Idaho has apartment buildings * free market decide when milk goes bad * trial lawyer's wet dream is the same as Jennifer Aniston's * What you didn't know didn't hurt you * across the street microwave keeps Stephen's chili from ever getting cold * blanket statute of limitations ** anything that happened in the last 6 months didn't happen Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger! * Stephen's New Year's resolution: to be less judgmental (which is stupid) * Wag- China counterfeiters ** Bike hemlet, catches fire when exposed to direct sunlight * Tip- EPA ** $175 tax on every cow * Wag- Scientists studying addiction ** all the missing bees are in the * Tip- this season's honey ** it's amazing! *** it makes you think like you're really thinking and want to dance, Snapple caps say it's the only food that never goes bad Interview * Benicio Del Toro ** is the star of the movie "Che" and his name means the good niece of the bull! * has an Oscar, but no Emmys * Che is a communist ** anyone who goes to see the movie will go commie * Hollywood elite suck kids into loving communists * if Che wasn't as attractive as he was, he wouldn't have been as successful as a leader or as a t-shirt * he went to Cuba ** he got permission from the federal government * he met Castro ** didn't stroke his beard * also met Ronald Reagan and compared him to Castro * took 7 years to do research ** studied history of an entire country * because Guevera was a socialist, people should get in for free ** Del Toro might not have been paid for his role either * Stephen suggests putting product placement in the movie to make some money Epilogue * Stephen wants to thank his guest Benicio Del Toro, star of the commie movie "Che" * the pro-commie epic starts this Friday (January 9, 2009) ** Stephen just learned we all get to share in the profits! Gallery Image:IntroBenicioDelToro1-7-2009.jpg Image:BenicioDelToro1-7-2009.jpg Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Motherload Videos External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments